My brain functions as programmed, and my default language functions are programmed to process words and sentences as an academic. I did write my own Everyday function, primarily to help me operate reasonably well with other people. I also have a Grammar Police function that I try to call sparingly; only the Grammar Police appreciate the Grammar Police. The Grammar Police function does occasionally find a defect in its own programming. This requires a hard reboot, but it also resets the Grammar Police function to factory settings, i.e., “humble mode”.
Here is poem written by my Grammar Police function:
My Offended Ear
Your saliva is a caustic solvent
to our language.
It dissolves the syntactic glue
that bonds noun
As words fall from your lazy tongue
to the floor,
my offended ear struggles
to convert chaos